Our Good Bye is NOT the End....

Coleman's celebration of life was Saturday, in Callender, Iowa. I'm just going to let Peggy, Coleman's mommy tell you about it. Be sure to click on the link to see the video. The link is in green, (John Deere Green) Coleman's favorite color. Coleman will live in my heart forever. I can't wait to meet him at the gate. There are too many I'm wanting to meet at the gate. I'm homesick....Gaye

One Day At a Time...
"Coleman often asked, “when is it dunna be my enda- teemo party mommy?” My answer was always “as soon as you’re finished, we’re going to have THE BIGGEST party sweetie.” He and Caden planned it many times-

Yesterday’s celebration of Coleman’s life was everything I KNOW he would have wanted his party to be.It was the most beautiful day of sunshine on a fresh snow. Pastor Kent did an amazing job that Coleman would have definitely approved of 100%. It included all of Coleman’s favorites, and such a wonderful message. Thank you Pastor! Yes, there were tears, but they weren’t for Coleman- they were for the rest of us left here missing all he brought to this world and all he would have brought to the party if he had been there in person.

I believe with all my heart that he WAS there, and I know he was smiling. He would want us to smile too. I didn’t want to focus on all we’ve lost- we know that, but instead we wanted to focus on all we’ve been given in the miracle that was Coleman.

Maybe it’s because Scott and I never knew if we would be able to have ONE baby, and how blessed we always knew we were to have TWO. We absolutely knew the amazing gift Coleman was from his first day here, and so we cherished the 1,851 days with him…each and every one of them. We have so many wonderful memories. Boy did we have it all. To say he changed our lives (and so many others) is an understatement.

Many times during this journey, I prayed so hard, “God….. PLEASE SAVE HIM!” I heard a whisper in my ear, “But he’s already saved, and so are the rest of you.” I thought about that so much yesterday. I also thought about the time Coleman was in karate class in New York and the teacher was working on meditating. She asked them to close their eyes as they were doing their breathing exercises…and to imagine the most beautiful thing they could think of. Coleman closed his eyes and whispered with this little smile on his face, “Dod.” Scott and I looked at each other with tears in our eyes and smiled. That memory came to me several times yesterday.

As much as we are in pain, we know we will be together again. Our Good Bye is NOT the end…which was the video played at Coleman’s service…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PnDx26D_JuA

I have much to share on the celebration, and I will…its just way too much to type out now, but I’ll get it down eventually- be patient with me…To say we were overwhelmed BEFORE- well after yesterday, we are just plain in shock…. So many wonderful, amazing people! How blessed we are to live in this community! How blessed we are to know how many lives Coleman touched! Thank you to all of you who shared Coleman’s life with us!!!

Many have asked about Caden….Caden is handling things just as well as he can. Someone mentioned he has lost his best friend. I think in many ways Coleman was his ONLY friend, as we didn’t hang around kids regularly for fear of germs and keeping Cman safe with his counts.Caden was Coleman’s caregiver in so many ways and did absolutely everything Coleman asked of him. They were side by side 24/7. He kept Coleman feisty and loved on him every chance he got. They were a team. Toward the end he felt it was his job to “help Coe-man fight harder.” We’re doing a lot of talking about the last night we were all together, and what has happened since, and what’s to come, but just a little at a time. I tried reading him books about it and he held up his hand and said, “SOP! This is too sad and too much for me. I can’t hannel it! We’re gonna make a new rule. When I say SOP you hafta sop talkin, and when I say GO you can sart again.”I said, “okay Caden…” He said, “I DINNIT SAY GO YET!”So I just hug him and hold him as much as he’ll let me. He’ll talk when HE’s ready.

Yes, he’s lost his other half, but he’s doing as well as can be expected.Has he cried? Yes. has he laughed? Yes. Has he asked a lot of questions? Some. More to come I’m sure.

He’s been even bouncier than usual, but it’s just because he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He never was the “talker” of the two- how could he be with Coleman doing all of the talking? :) But he’s opened up a little at a time. He doesn’t like to see people sad…and asked us at the visitation if we could “just a-vite alla these people out to our house so we can have a party wifout anybody cryin?”As we went to bed that night I said, “let's say our prayers.”He said, “I only have ONE prayer” and whispered, “I love you Coe-man. Amen.” He slept in the middle while Scott and I hugged and hugged him. I know he’s hurting so much, but we're being patient with him as he talks about it a little at a time.

When we pulled in our driveway from the celebration yesterday he said, “I miss him already.” I said, “I know, me too buddy.” He said, “but God sill loves us, ann we’re sill TEAM LARSON.” Scott and I both assured him that was so true. We’ll always be a team.

He sat there and said, “well… ONE good thing…… I guess I get his piggy bank!”We couldn’t help but crack up laughing. That’s Caden- looking on the bright side- and wanting us to do the same. I told him Coleman would want him to have it, and maybe he could think of something nice to do for someone else with the money in it.

Some have asked when he’s going to go to school. I told him when HE was ready he could go. His teacher stopped over and wanted to know if he wanted to come to school with her last week. He got nervous and bouncy and said, “I’ll call ya when I wanna.” She asked if he wanted her number, and he said, “……no.”

Cracked me up. Sorry Kim! We just aren’t going to rush him with anything and are going to let him take his own sweet time. I know he'll wake up one morning and be ready. We know it will be good for him and he will love it…but there will be no pushing from us. There’s no hurry.

Will he make it through this? Yes, just like the rest of us… one day at a time, with our faith and the love of our family members who are hurting too. We'll get through it together.

Like I said, there’s so much I want to get down, but I need to take my time here too-One request I do have is for prayers for our church family. Our church – Our Saviour’s Lutheran Church- in Callender was broken into last night! All that I know so far is a flat screen tv with some video equipment was taken. I’m sure other things as well…they were still investigating during church this morning.As our pastor said, we need to pray for whoever did this. It saddens me so much on top of everything else.

As we left the church yesterday, Pastor Kent chased us down with my laptop that I had at the church the past couple of days with the video for Coleman’s service on it. I’m so thankful it wasn’t left last night, as it was the only copy of the video I had…I hadn’t loaded it to UTube yet, or made a copy, so if there’s a bright side for us, it’s that….. still we’re saddened for the other things that were taken. In my heart, I know those things can be replaced and with the community we live in, we’ll see to it they are. Still prayers for our church family would be appreciated.

Also prayers for the way too many little warriors continuing in this fight. Scott told one of the other families yesterday, “we’re still a cancer family”. How could we not be? We’ll do everything we can to continue to raise awareness and funding for Childhood Cancer Research. I have a lot planned for the future…so you’ll be hearing from me again and again-

As the 1,851 balloons said yesterday, “Nev-va div up.” For the so many people who were involved in working so hard on those balloons- our deepest thanks! It was beautiful, amazing, just too much for words and it meant so much to us! THANK YOU!

Thank you to everyone who has sent messages, cards, etc. Please don’t worry that you’ll say something wrong to us! Believe me, I KNOW I’ve said some stupid things the past couple of days- and will probably continue to do so!We don’t know what to say either… so we would never hold anyone’s wording against them.Just knowing so many people were touched by Coleman means so much to us. We appreciate you taking the time to let us know you care. THANK YOU!

We love and miss you Coleman.You did a great job sweetie. More to come. "

Blessings to you all,

Team Larson

P.S. (this is Gaye's thoughts)....God is so good to bring people like Team Larson into our lives...Coleman accomplished so much on this earth in his short 1,851 days here. We can learn so much from him and his family. God bless you Team Larson.

"OUR GOOD BYE IS NOT THE END"