The post I didn't want to make...

I am broken hearted....again! January 5, 2009 at 10:45 pm my little hero, Coleman won his fight. He is home, he is in no more pain, he is free!!! As you know, I never met this little fighter in person, but oh how I learned so much from him through his CarePage. If you haven't visited his page, you have missed out on a blessing. You can visit by clicking on his picture to the left. He spent half of his short 5 years on this earth battling the monster we call cancer. Yet he had more faith than anyone I know.

The past month or so has been so hard on so many I love. I've really had to be careful to not question God. My prayer life has steadily gotten stronger in the past couple of years than it has ever been, but my prayers aren't being answered the way I think they should be. Don't get me wrong, I know our petitions to God aren't going to be answered the way we want every time. Coleman taught me so much. He knew where he came from, he was poked, scanned, endured chemo & radiation, took too many meds to count, was told he didn't have cancer anymore, went through a bone marrow transplant, told he had cancer again, endured chemo again, poked even more, scanned again and again, lost his ability to walk or talk or swallow, yet his faith in God never waivered, because he knew where he was going. His lessons will linger on forever in the lives of those who knew him (personally and through CarePages). I am learning (more and more after each heartbreak) that God isn't always going to answer my prayers the way I want Him to. His ways are not my ways, as much as I wish they were. He sees the whole picture, where as I just see bits and pieces. It's so hard, and no, I probably won't stop questioning God....because I'm human, but one day, Lord willing, I will understand. AND because I am human, I am angry, not at God, but because somehow we can send a man to the moon, we can build a house that runs completely on solar power, we can etc., etc., but we still don't have a cure for this absolutely horrible disease that is killing our children (and adults). 46 precious children are diagnosed with cancer every school day. That is unbelievable, but true.

The Larson family, along with several CarePage families have researched childhood cancer research sights and have found that with most, only a very small percentage (2-10%) donated actually goes to Childhood Cancer Research. Only through Curesearch.org does almost all (90%+) goes to CCR. That is where my donations will go from now on.

Coleman's mother, Peggy is amazing also. She said that through this journey, she has learned to pray for God's will to be done in her child's life. She believes that God's will was done through Coleman. The more lessons I learned through this hero of mine, I believe it too.

Caden, Coleman's twin brother is dealing with this the best way he can. Mom & Dad are showering him with love. Keep him in your prayers. I can't imagine what must be going through his mind.

I want to thank everyone who prayed for Coleman's healing. He really did win the battle...he is free. Please continue to keep Team Larson in your prayers.

"While we mourn, others rejoice to meet him at the gate"

Rest in Peace Coleman.....12/10/03~1/5/09